"If your kid ever ends up being gay, and reads your letter, he or she will read a letter from his or her mother that expresses more concern about Boy Scout funding and sin than concern about that kid having a safe place."

An Open Letter to Emily Wierenga

Hi Emily.

We don’t know each other. But the other day I read your “letter to a gay Boy Scout member.” I’m not going to mince words:

Your letter made me really uncomfortable.

"If your kid ever ends up being gay, and reads your letter, he or she will read a letter from his or her mother that expresses more concern about Boy Scout funding and sin than concern about that kid having a safe place."
“If your kid ever ends up being gay, and reads your letter, he or she will read a letter from his or her mother that expresses more concern about Boy Scout funding and sin than concern about that kid having a safe place.”

Your letter made me uncomfortable, and I am both a straight male and an Eagle Scout.

I wish we could go out for coffee and talk in person. But a blog post will have to suffice, instead. I want to explain to why your letter made my soul flinch (keeping in mind I’m straight and an Eagle, so my level of unease is probably nothing compared to your intended audience). I hope I express myself with grace:

In the midst of comparing homosexuality to having an eating disorder, you said you would be sad that your hypothetical gay kid could cause the Boy Scouts to lose their funding.

But you make no mention of the life of discrimination and bullying and hatred they’d suffer at the hands of people who profess to hold the same faith you do.

You think being gay is a sin. Fine. That’s your interpretation of the Bible. I disagree, but I doubt I can convince you to change your exegesis by means of a blog post.

But.

But if your kid ever ends up being gay, and reads your letter, he or she will read a letter from his or her mother that expresses more concern about Boy Scout funding and sin than concern about that kid having a safe place, a place of compassion, love, and respect.

This article does not express the love of Jesus. Jesus wasn’t concerned about funding national organizations or worried about “showing so much grace that sin isn’t the focus” (because it’s not the focus, grace is!). This article is very irresponsible. And in the comment section, you start theorizing about chromosomes? Like your gay kid would willingly suffer what gay kids suffer?

Let me re-write this essay for you, in one paragraph:

“Hey gay people. I think being gay is a sin. BUT. But you are human beings, made in the image of God. And fact is, so many people treat you like you’re sub-human. That’s wrong. That’s not Christlike. You deserve as much love and respect as any other humans. End of story.”

All this sanctimonious hand-wringing and theorizing is off-putting and offensive. Say what you believe, don’t apologize for it, and then focus on loving your neighbor as yourself.

It’s not cool, this “I love you, but… I love you, but… I love you, but…”

Just. Fucking. Love.

Love. The greatest commandment, yo.

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