Hey Boston Tea Protestors: Justice Was Done, But You Never Wanted Justice

If Matt Walsh used his incisive analytical skills from “Hey Ferguson Protestors: Justice Was Done, But You Never Wanted Justice” to discuss the Boston Tea Party:

The Tea Act of 1773 was a legitimate act of the Parliament of Great Britain, even receiving royal assent on May 10, 1773. Its purpose was to save the faltering East India Company from bankruptcy as well as provide cheap tea to the American colonists. Simple.

The other interpretation of this act was a rumor-fueled fabrication from the very beginning, and even Massachusetts Governor Thomas Hutchinson saw right through it.

But today I’m hearing a lot of people say that they can understand why the Boston Tea Protestors are upset. I’m hearing that, sure, some are violent, but the peaceful ones have a legitimate gripe. We should respect their outrage, I’m told.

But why?

A legitimate gripe? They jumped on a case without the facts then rejected every single fact as it revealed itself. They are still, to this day, repeating long since debunked propaganda points. And this is legitimate? They actively prepared Native American costumes because they knew their protests were illegal and they destroyed 342 chests of tea — tea that was the property of other individuals. This is understandable?

No it isn’t. The Boston Tea Protestors are criminals who brought their fate upon themselves. The Tea Act of 1773 is, by all accounts, a legitimate law that must be obeyed. Parliament has never renounced its right to tax the colonies or otherwise enact legislation over them.

This is not what you wanted to hear, I realize, but that’s only because you never wanted justice at all. If the Boston Tea Protestors wanted justice, they wouldn’t be dumping tea into the harbor. Destroying property like that is not the behavior of people who want justice and fairness. This is the behavior of a lynch mob.

Boston Tea Protestors, you demonized the East India Company, an innocent company. This should weigh heavily on your conscience. This should bring you a profound sense of grief and guilt. A company   that serves your community was forced to defend itself against an unprovoked and unnecessary assault, and what did you do? You made a villain out of that company. You cast the East India Company to the wolves without hesitation. You crucified its tea in the harbor.

You should be ashamed.

If such acts of criminality continue, I wouldn’t be surprised if soon Parliament establishes formal British military rule in Massachusetts — and would could blame them? These Tea Party thugs are lawless.

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3 thoughts on “Hey Boston Tea Protestors: Justice Was Done, But You Never Wanted Justice”

  1. Hey bud, I get it. You did all right here: entertaining, quick read. You’re missing a few key things from the 1,000+ pages of docs, but totally, this is something to submit to Slate. I guess.

    Seriously, I get it—there’s not a sound-bite moral high ground, and barely a questionable a legal high ground. The dumb thing you did was wade into the media/click-bait infested waters.

    You are much, much better than that. This site has been better than that.

    You. Are. Better. Than. This.

    Stop shaming language. Stop vitriol. Look for solutions before you look for click-bait. Why do you care about Matt Walsh? You are better than this. Matt Walsh = Jezebel = Return of Kings. You are better than this.

    1. …who or what are you responding to?

      “1,000+ pages of docs…” …what documents are you referring to?

      “Stop shaming language. Stop vitriol.” …what language or vitriol?

      This is a satirical piece, using the exact words from this Matt Walsh piece but transferred to a different context (the Boston Tea Party). This is my personal blog, I write whatever I want, and I like satire. Hence my satire category.

      so… yeah, I don’t understand your comment. 🙂

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